Self Help

Can you rely on yourself to confidently manage a happy and satisfying life?

Imagine that you are going to employ someone to completely run your life. Your happiness and success is totally in this person’s hands. They will be in control of determining the quality of your life in every way. Every day.

This person will be in control of every thought. Every action. Every emotional state. Every decision. Every choice. Every relationship. Every goal. They will determine how you treat your body. How you spend your time. They will set up what you experience. They will set up where you are in a year, or in 5, 10 or 20 years.

Now imagine the kind of ad you would write to attract this employee.

Who would be your ideal employee? What boxes would they have to tick?

What would be essential for this person to have, to be, to do or to know?

What would you consider desirable?

What qualities and attributes would this person have? What skills would they have? What attitudes and competencies?

Now comes the life changing  question!

Would you happily employ yourself? If you were to interview yourself would you be satisfied or even excited with the answers to your interview questions?

Is your response a resounding and enthusiastic ‘yes’?  If so, then you are in a happy minority. Or are you squirming as your mind goes to what you don’t like about yourself ? Or what you are unhappy about in how you manage the key areas of your life?

The 39 Life Enhancing Powers

Through learning and working with thousands of different people over the years, I’ve identified 39 key life enhancing ‘powers’.  All of these personal powers are available to each one of us. They all can be learned and developed.

Some of these powers are skills like assertiveness skills, that take practice over time. Some of these powers are a product of working on yourself in the ways that counselling and therapy provide. For example developing strong self acceptance and self confidence. Or healing from the past. Or releasing old stored emotions. Or learning powerful techniques to manage the mind.

Some of these powers are sequential. For example to be true to yourself you first need to be confident enough to risk the disapproval and expectations of other people. To trust yourself you may need to adjust some limiting beliefs. To make the right decision, you first need to feel confident in your ability to make the right decision.

There are 4 major domains. These are:

  1. Managing the mind. This includes the content – our beliefs and thoughts – and also ways of thinking and processing information and experience.

  2. Managing the emotional life. This covers handling emotions as they arise; releasing emotions stored from the past; and learning how to set and maintain a positive emotional baseline.

  3. Managing behaviours and habits. This includes learning specific life skills.

  4. Managing relationships. This includes both our relationship with ourselves as well as our relationships with other people.

Most of us have not had the benefit of a comprehensive  training for life. It is usually something we have to seek out for ourselves as we go.  We consume podcasts, videos, books and courses. We may seek a mentor or personal development expert of some kind.  

We are always a ‘work in progress’ throughout our lives.  How well resourced we are is a choice we can make at any time. No matter what has happened in the past. You can become the person you would happily employ to run your life!

In my practice as a Psychologist at City Cave, I put a high value on resourcing people in practical ways to become their best most empowered self. From this place you can most effectively manage and enjoy your best possible life.

Feel welcome to call me directly on 0438337798 or email margimatters@gmail.com to  find out more about how I may be able to help. Or simply call City Cave to book an appointment. Or find my website here